Lessons From The Court: Losing Versus Beaten
By: Jen O’Meara, Ph.D
I suspect most people would say that losing and getting beaten is one and the same: either way, there’s a mark in your Loss column and you’re watching the rest of the tournament from the cheap seats. In my mind, however, there is a distinct difference between losing and getting beaten. The difference has everything to do with the reason for my performance.
For me, ‘losing’ is about poor performance on my part. If I fail to execute my shots, if I make mental mistakes, if I play poor defense: these are all things that give advantages to opponents. If I hand over enough of these advantages, a loss will almost inevitably result.
I see ‘getting beaten’ as a different thing altogether. Don’t get me wrong: a lot of the same things happen in a loss and when I get beaten. Shots are not executed, mental mistakes are made, and so on. On the surface, the two do look very much the same.
The fundamental distinction that I see between losing and getting beaten, however, ultimately has to do with who is to blame — or, alternatively, who is to credit — for my performance. If I generally have time to get to the right spot on the court, for example, and I am able to set my feet and use proper swing mechanics, there is no reason for me to miss a lot of shots. In those circumstances, the misses are unforced errors, and the responsibility for them falls squarely on my shoulders.
If, on the other hand, my opponent is placing the ball so well that I generally don’t have time to properly set up for a shot, my misses will often be to their credit rather than to my failure. Likewise, if I actually do have time to execute good shots but my opponent is still able to return them effectively, that is also to their credit. To my mind, if I’m on the wrong end of the scoreboard despite playing pretty well, I am getting beaten.
After a loss, I tend to hang my head and slink off to the locker room knowing that I could have done better. After I get beaten, I keep my chin up because I know that I played up to my ability despite being matched against a strong opponent.
So…what does any of this have to do with leadership? I think the distinction between losing and getting beaten underscores the importance of leaders having a realistic perspective about what to expect from their team members.
There is, so to speak, always a chance of someone on your team running into an ‘opponent’ that could get the best of them — an individual, for example, who has more experience or knowledge than they do. It is important for leaders to put these differences into perspective for their team members, who may perhaps be inclined to view their own performance as a ‘loss’ against these more experienced or more knowledgeable colleagues. Helping your team members see where they performed well and coaching them as to how they can improve that performance the next time around will go a long way toward helping them keep their chins up high, even when things don’t go their way.
Jen O’Meara is a Professor of Business Communications and a 3-time US Open national racquetball champion.
